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The Merciless Silence

by reliable toasters

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1.
Lingering 05:10
D Am D Am G C Towering cedars fill with rings Am D And persevere through whatever life brings G C The ocean waves make their lapping sounds Am D And we're among the last to see the sun go down Like the first days of a newborn child Time stands still, and yet it runs wild I find I'm caught between the two extremes Of wanting things to change and yet to stay the same Em C As much as I would like these things to pause D Am/G G Am I know time won't change it's laws for me, for me Em C I suppose I'll have to be content D Am/G G With how this sweet and rare moment Am D Am D Is lingering beautifully This day was too much like the one before And now it closes like just another door The wild birds still sing out their melody And I'm still waiting for You to deliver me As much as I'm tired to be here still I know that You won't bend Your will for me, for me I suppose I must be satisfied To know the things You will provide Are lingering beautifully As much as I can I will try my best To just be still and to get some rest I suppose there's not much else to do But to sit and wait and know that You Are lingering beautifully
2.
Broken Wing 03:14
3.
If I gave you a flower for every time I thought of you Your garden would stretch beyond the reaches of your view If I captured some starlight for every time you caught my eye There would be no darkness in your nighttime sky In the midst of the years of give and take Our love will bend, but it won’t break Like flowers, it grows fuller with the passage of time Like love songs, it’s better with harmony and rhyme If I wrote you a love song for every time you made me sing Then maybe I’d find the words to tell you everything In the midst of the years of give and take Our love will bend, but it won’t break Like flowers, it grows fuller with the passage of time Like love songs, it’s better with harmony and rhyme If I gave you a moment for every time I stole a glance We’d have forever to finish off this dance
4.
Astronauts 05:09
Caught beneath the crushing tons of reality Squashing all the great things that you aspired to be Everything you hoped for remains just beyond your grasp Life won’t give you all you want, even though you ask We don’t all get to be astronauts when we grow up Somebody has to sweep the floors We don’t all get to see our wildest dreams come true But those dreams help us to reach for more There may not be much importance in the tasks that you perform But if you ask around you’ll find out that’s the norm Most of us don’t get to space, or even leave the ground But I’ll bet you still have many things of which you can be proud We don’t all get to be astronauts when we grow up Somebody has to sweep the floors We don’t all get to see our wildest dreams come true But those dreams help us to reach for more The grass may well be greener, looking down from outer space Some may look down from on high to put you in your place But I don’t have to tell you that there’s no one just like you, So do the things the Good Lord has given you to do Everybody's good at something, you’ve got to find your own It doesn’t mean that you have failed if you don’t walk on the moon You can’t do any more than just keep doing your best And you shouldn’t settle for anything less We don’t all get to be astronauts when we grow up Somebody has to sweep the floors We don’t all get to see our wildest dreams come true But those dreams help us to reach for more We don’t all have to be astronauts when we grow up Somebody has to do the chores We don’t all get to see our biggest dreams come true But those dreams help us to reach for more
5.
In time and space our lives are thrust Lovingly fashioned we are beautiful dust Into the merciless silence came the breath of life Spoke into darkness and created light Hungering for beauty, like a sonnet Yet something’s wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it Dark clouds hover, feeling less than we’re worth Left with muddy hands and the taste of the earth There’s a great gulf fixed between the place we ar and where we’re from But I shall smell the flowers from that garden when I am done The morning star ascends to shine so bright In the bleakest moment of the darkest night To mend and restore all of the broken things Rising up with healing in His wings All the questions and their answers They don't seem to have a place When I'm wrestling with the curse While I’m resting in the grace Of that Light that shines in darkness Well, where else should it be? But in the place that I most need it So at last I start to see
6.
Rainbows 05:21
Cm Gm Ab You could tell this song is sad by that opening progression Cm Gm Ab The tools of the trade for an honest confession Eb Bb Ab Trying to get you in the mood for some sort of concession Cm Gm Ab Sometimes I wish I was still that boy who used to play downstairs Cm Gm Ab A million miles away from all these troubles and these cares Eb Bb Ab But If I had the chance I just don’t know that I would dare Eb Bb Ab Would there still be rainbows if we all were blind? Eb Bb Ab I suppose then that question might never cross our minds Eb Bb Ab It’s hard to find the answers when the terms get redefined Eb Bb Ab The things that we don’t search for we surely never find I can hear the hurt and strains in the sounds of someone’s words And feel the questions asked that we hope won’t go unheard I wonder in the knowing does it amount to any good? I can hear the groans of earth as she longs for her new day I know that I have scarred her with the things I’ve thrown away I will listen to the story because there’s so much left to say It lays there right before me in the form of black and white The promises that even now everything will be alright In the gloom, there glimmers and glows a guiding light
7.
Shadows and echoes are all that we perceive Hints and rumours calling us to believe We see the details, but somehow we miss the part That links them to the story You've written on our hearts You have shown me my suspicions were true I don't belong here, I belong with You Beyond our senses, does that mean that You're not real? Or can some things exist that we don't see or feel? The spirit in us is calling out to yours Seems to indicate that there is something more You have shown me my suspicions were true I don't belong here, I belong with You
8.
I’m sorry for all the times I yelled at you You used to sing and dance And I hope that you still do I hope that same light still shines in your eyes That life is filled with wonder and surprise When did you, get so big? It must have been when I blinked And each day that passes through Is one less day that I get To laugh and play And be silly with you Of all the sounds I’ve ever heard, your laugh’s the best You used to tell me stories That never made much sense I hoped that I could teach you and still learn a thing or two And enjoy each moment that I spent with you When did you, get so big? It must have been when I blinked And each day that passes through Is one less day that I get To laugh and play And be silly with you When your name is dad you try to do your best To raise your kids and hope that they are blessed Of all the things that I have ever done To watch you grow up is my favourite one
9.
From pinpricks in the darkened sky Trickle drops of faint starlight It’s cold enough to see my breath Well, that’s if I had any left Life seems to catch you unaware You may not like it, but life don’t seem to care My time to wonder is almost gone Still, I would like to know where it all went wrong When your hand is stilled there’s no hope for vengeance When your voice is gone there is no cry for justice We search for purpose in the senseless tragedy I’ll soon know what God has in store for me Another man slept with my wife And I am just a footnote in the margins of his life This piercing shaft has brought me down It's hard to stand against the one who wears the crown As I stare into pending night I know first hand in this world something is not right As my last thoughts drift off to sleep I know it is the rich man who steals the poor man’s sheep
10.
Longing 05:36
She stares out the pane of glass to hide to pain in her heart As she waits for her lover to come Tomorrow she'll stand by the window again, Renewed with the new hope of light That comes with the rising of the sun She says, "clouds may hide the sun, but they don't stop me from seeing the hills Or the dark endless forests between my love and myself". She will wait until he returns And pushes through the clouds that darken her skies She will wait until he returns And uses his white robes to comfort her eyes She will wait... Days have a habit of turning to weeks, if they are passed off uncounted But time stands still for those who will love She knows as she draws in her breath, Time draws him closer to her Day or night, he's the one she dreams of She will wait until he returns And pushes through the clouds that darken her skies She will wait until he returns And uses his white robes to comfort her eyes She will wait... The reward of unsatisfied patience is another moment of wait To sigh... to squint at the edge of her seat She says, "Let the rain clouds come, for my Lover shines bright like the sun On the noonday of summer's own choosing". She will wait until he returns And pushes through the clouds that darken her skies She will wait until he returns And uses his white robes to comfort her eyes She will wait...

about

This album has been borne of the trials and tribulations I have faced. But having faced them, I am able to face new trials and tribulations with greater faith and greater strength. Although most of the songs were written well before, I did the bulk of the work on these recordings while my son was going through treatment for cancer. Many of the lyrics took on new meanings for me as I worked through what was happening in and around me. My hope is always that others would be somehow blessed by what they hear.

The cover art is by E. L. Trouvelot and it was downloaded from the New York Public Library public domain archives.

digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47dd-e81f-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99
digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47dd-e6cd-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99
digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47dd-e822-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99
digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47dd-e81b-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99

credits

released April 13, 2018

All songs written and performed by Doug Anderson
Robin Harbron: Bass on select tracks
Carolyn Anderson: BGV's on select tracks

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reliable toasters Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

reliable toasters is the musical appendage of one Douglas R. Anderson, and includes whomever he can convince to accompany him. All of the songs are born out of Doug's interaction with life, ponderings about God, and vice versa. The musical style is a long-simmered stew of many influences. Take a taste and see what flavours you can detect. ... more

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